Palin Scopes Targets

I expect the Associated Press writing to be plagiaristic. Take the story headlined “Palin, Tea Party Take On Reid, Health Reform. “ Referring to a Tea Party rally in Arizona “that's been called a conservative Woodstock” is an example. Who called it that? The Woodstock comparison was first articulated on PBS Frontline about Karl Rove and it pertained to the Republican Convention of 1964 that nominated Barry Goldwater for President. But who needs editors when there is spell-check?

The “Tea Party movement” and Sarah Palin deserve lots of derision. The codswallop that they perpetrate is infectious to bigots. Using the posting graphics of rifle scope cross-hairs of a map to “target” Democrats up for re-election on her Facebook page and sending the tweet “Don't Retreat, Instead - RELOAD!" pander a demographic with disingenuous rhetoric pretending to be rogue conservativism. Barry Goldwater must be turning.

When a pop star backs a cause or a purpose, it is self-aggrandizement. Representing oneself is what pop stars do best. As a political pop-star, Palin is a Twitter natural. What better way to disseducate people than with Twitter, where one can use non-words to say virtually nothing of any import to everyone all the time. Pop stars have staffs of people and lots of fans to create image and manage media. The Betcha-Gotcha Palin staff appears to have hateful people on it who must be really irked by having to play nice with the Retiree-To-Be McCain staff and especially Cindy McCain.

The Boston Tea Party is one of those historical tales that has long lost its integrity. We never hear about Sam Adams and his bully boys, as they’ve been called. When you win a revolution, your thugs become known as patriots. The name Tea Party looks and sounds better than Loose Coalition of Conservative Groups Opposed to Anything Democratic.” Actually, the name Loose Cannons is more to the point.

It must be galling for John McCain to face a re-election bid so tough that his staff had to get with the Palin staff to bring the two electoral and popular vote losers together for a maverick reunion for camera lenses. George W. Bush’s staff doubtless said “Not at this time. We’re doing a presidential makeover with the Big Dog (Bill Clinton).”

Truly, a political off-season -- not being an elected official -- can be fickle. McCain is a handful of votes from having his off-season. Palin will make it so. Remember what Palin did for the last McCain campaign? Imagine what she can do for the GOP, the country for that matter.

Call Jerry Bruckheimer

There is still time to redeem the GOP in what is left of their limping campaign. The way I see it, there is a choice to be made. Dump that vapid racist Palin from the ticket and bring in Mac’s buddy Joe Lieberman to run for one term, the both of them. Or, call Jerry Bruckheimer to produce a Republican replacement show, titled At All Costs.

The first choice has all kinds of merit. It would show that Mr. McCain is indeed putting the country first, admitting he made a colossal mistake, and acting like the maverick he claims to be. The move would usher in some serious debate, albeit a little late and not of the TV variety; but debate among the electorate. Besides, everyone is used to Mac’s erratic lurches and such a team could be formidable.

The second choice has equal merit. For the good of the country, McCain could withdraw, taking his rube mate with him. It wouldn’t take Mr. Bruckheimer long to create the new GOP show, casting Tim Robbins as the presidential candidate and Susan Sarandon as his running mate – something they already are. Certainly, the attack ads would have more class and the rallies would be more optimistic.

Martin Sheen, Michael Douglas and Kevin Kline have each done the office of POTUS a great service. The Robbins-Sarandon ticket kicks the process into a new level. I originally thought of Nick Cage and Lauren Hutton for the leads; but, the pesky economic situation muddies everything. Besides, it’s not like the Republicans are too cash strapped to afford Bruckheimer. Then again, maybe they are.

The only thing I would insist upon with a devamped (ad that to your spell checker) McCain-Lieberman ticket is that they sign an agreement that if elected, they will not pardon President Bush. W needs his place in history -- in a penitentiary.

Ticket to Nowhere

We are told that Ms. Palin is Alaska’s maverick who stood up to her GOP party regulars to become governor. It could be she was the only candidate who wasn’t a member of the “Corrupt Old Bastard” network in Juneau when Federal corruption investigations began or just witless enough to let the Ted Stevens Party have her installed. Little of anything governmental in Alaska has ever been done without that Grand Old Patriarch’s approval.

Juneau, Alaska’s capital city has a regional, walk on the tarmac airport, complete with stuffed bear in a case. (All public buildings have a stuffed bear in a case.) In the absence of a bridge to anywhere, you can rent a car at the airport; but you can only drive it in and around Juneau. You cannot drive to Anchorage or Sitka or “Squarebanks.” Alaska’s International airport is in Anchorage, the northern most suburb of Seattle. It is named for the senior GOP senator Ted Stevens, who was indicted a month and a half ago.

We are told that the national election is close. It could be that it is not close at all. Without Ms. Palin, it certainly wouldn’t be interesting. If anything, her candidacy gives comics and pundits a lot of political hash so it seems that election might be close. But, it isn’t.

Republicans are a lot of things; but stupid is not one of them. They hear the landslide in the distance. The party has nominated a great American, Senator and patriot in John McCain to honor the man and give him his due. But, they did not nominate him to win. That is why they nominated the least qualified elected official they could in Ms. Palin to guarantee he doesn’t.

9.15.08